Aarush

"Enough of it maa, please!" I requested my mom for the nth time to stop convincing me, since the past three days.

I just got up from the sofa and took a few steps towards the kitchen in order to drink cold water.

"For your babies, please?" her words put me to halt.

"Maa!"

"What maa? Look at them Aaru, they are just eleven-months-old, and they really need a mother. They are not even kids bacche, they're infants! Think about them. You are thirty-four and here you still need me for basic things, how can they not need a mother? You're in an illusion, if you think you can do it all alone Aaru, you can't fill the voidness of their heart when they grow up." she tried to explain me again.

I know she want the best for me, for my kids too. But- I can't replace my wife. I will never replace my wife. There are many single parents too isn't it? So why can't I?

"I'll manage everything and anything for them Maa, I'll try to be the best parent." with that I left that place.

I am left with no urge to drink cold water now. I twisted my room's doorknob and got in. Saw my beautiful babies, who were still sleeping.

How cute you both are! You both are the most peaceful thing in the world for me. Truely, watching your babies sleep gives you a unknown kind of satisfaction.

I laid on my bed on my stomach, closing my eyes.

Why did you leave me Priya? Wasn't my love enough to get you back? You said you'll always be with me. Your 'forever' just lasted for 7 years? I wish I would had met you in your childhood days, so I can spend more time with you.

Our marriage of two years. Were blissful. Memorable. Where I dreamt it would be till my last breath. But you kept your promise. You were just mine till your last breath. You took my peace with you, I'm all restless without you. C-can you come back? If not for me, for our kids. Please?

I saw her smiling, coming towards me. My Priya was coming towards me! After five long months. I could feel my eyes a little wet. She touched my jaw with her soft hands. It was enough for me to melt. Her face came closer, as if covering between all the void I felt for last five months. I could feel her lips on mine.

Soft. Serene. Sensitive.

Her one glimpse of me was enough to keep me sane. She used her other hand to caress my newly grown beard, kissing me deeply. The moment was not harsh, none of us want to rush, we just wanted to feel each other's presence. Breaking the kiss, she parted few inches away. Still placing her hands on my jaw. She was looking at me as if she's reading my soul, my emotions, all she could get in reply was my heart filled of love, just for her.

An abrupt noise at the moment and she vanished in thin air? That voice !! What was that-

Oh ! my baby is crying. My Pihu is crying.

I got up, walked to her crib and took her in my arms. Her cries went louder every passing moment. I checked her diapers but they were clean. Listening her, my baby boy Priyansh also began crying!

God! Not this time.

Maa came in with a milk bottle and took pihu from me and sat on the bed. Oh, so she is hungry. I made my way to Priyansh and pacified him. And made him sleep again. Placing him to crib, I sat beside Maa.

"How will you manage Aaru, you can't even understand she's crying for food." Maa asked. Her voice sounded full of concern. I agree, I am not perfect at this, but I'm trying. I really am.

I had no answer to her question. I continued being quiet.

"That's why I'm telling you. Get them a mother. It's different to handle everything alone betu." she added putting some sense in my brain.

"No one can replace Priya, Maa. Only she can be my wife." I defended truthfully.

A small smile appeared on her face. Thinking of how deeply I love my wife or thinking how loyal I'm maybe.

"The thing is not about your wife Aaru. Your feelings are justified. But a life without a mother is way more difficult. You need to understand that." she said removing the milk bottle from Pihu's lips assuming she's full. But her lips twitched and she made a face as she would cry again anytime soon. So I took my baby and bottle from my mom, and held her while putting the milk bottle in her small mouth.

I kept mum again. I know a life without a mother is way more difficult, or maybe beyond my thinking. But now, I want to have this conversation with her. I had been avoiding this topic for God knows what time!

"My wife and their mother, isn't it the same thing?" I initiated calmly.

"Practically it is, but it depends on that girl too." she answered.

"And how it depends on that girl?" I asked being confused.

She smiled a little. "If she's a nice girl and knows her limits. Knows that you won't be ever able to love her, but keep her safe and sound. Tell her that you're marrying her for your kids' sake."

"Why will a girl enroll herself in a loveless marriage Maa? That too a good girl!"

"I know, when a girl gets married she wants her husband to be hers. She wants the love of her husband, but sometimes, destiny plays their role. Some girls may have their own battle and they are ready to compromise. Like I did. But see, I'm happy now Aarush. I have your dad to love me. I have a loving son, a loving daughter, and grandchildren too"

I looked direct in her eyes. Her eyes are deep, loving and caring. A mother just wants best for her kids. Like Priya did. She too wanted her kids to have their mother. She asked me too, to remarry after she's gone. But I was reluctant then, and I'm now too. Am I doing wrong? Am I really depriving my kids of mother's love just because of my reasons?

She placed her hand on my shoulder and looked at me. Maybe she noticed my hesitation.

"Think about it. It's not about your wife, but about the mother of your kids." she remarked again.

Placing my sleeping Pihu in her crib, I said "I don't think it's the right time"

"I'll wait for your reply" she left.

When one becomes a parent, they become both selfless and selfish regarding their own children in many ways. Selfless as, thinking of their kids first. Prioritizing them above you. Even above everything and anything.

Selfish as in, offcourse, any parent would want their kids upto them only. I too don't want my kids to share to someone stranger girl. Is there any guarantee that she'll be good? That she'll be nice to my kids? That she'll be selfless for them, for my family? And what if, at the start she's all good, and later she'll be the devil here. Torturing my kids! No! I don't want my kids to face any kind of problem because of me or my wrong decisions.

Priya is the best mother to my kids, undoubtedly. I mean was. Sighing, I went to bed again battling against myself. Should I or shouldn't I.

It's not about your wife, but about the mother of your kids.

Maa's words rang in my head like the snoozing alarm! Why can't I sleep! I need peace. My peace back, my wife. Then there would be no such problems like this.

But what's gone is gone forever, Aarush. My brain retorted. I don't want to accept but, he's right. She can't come back now. Even after thousands and millions of calls, she won't show up. Sighing, I tried to sleep. But I couldn't sleep! All I was getting in my front was Priya! That's it!

Her last breath, her looking in my eyes for the last time, still she was smiling in all that pain. How difficult it must have been for her? She stayed strong for me, for our kids.

"Please don't ruin your life for me Aaru, get a good mother for my kids. For our kids. Get a good partner for yourself, continue your life, don't be a dead-" I remember her trembling lips while saying this. Her emotions pained. She took a last glimpse of me and smiled in pain. And then, she left me forever. She gave up her life.

I know she wanted best for me too. But my heart isn't ready !! What should I do!

Maybe you should move on. Here comes my brain, Again.

"You shut up!" I said internally.

I didn't knew when sleep engulfed my while I was busy battling myself.

_____

I felt something shiny on my eyes. I slowly opened my eyelids. My pupils contracted getting the immediate amount of light.

"Come on, get ready. We're going." mom said.

"We're going? Where?" I inquired.

"To meet someone. Get ready fast Aaru. We can't wait anymore. You have twenty minutes."

"What?"

"Get ready soon!" saying this she left.

Soon I got ready and moved out of my room. But no one was there. My brows furrowed involuntarily. Then there appears my mom at the main door!

"Come on, be fast! Here are the keys, lock home fast and come to the car" saying this she again disappeared.

What's going on? Will anybody tell me!!?

Okay so I here expect them to give me a good explanation of things they're rushing into. I locked the door and got in the car. My munchkins are already there. So adorable! Wait, they're too all dressed up!

I got to the driver's seat and asked "Will anybody tell me where are we going?"

"Ask your mother" Papa said.

I looked at mumma. She just replied "Airport"

Where as my cute little babies' eyes struck out of the window as they're seeing something new, making their baby blabbers.

Soon we reached Airport. "Stay here" Mumma said and.. ran somewhere? God this woman is really impossible!

"Are you sure, your mother isn't seeing someone else than me?" Dad sounded suspicious, and later gave out a small laugh.

"You literally talk anything sometimes!" I replied shaking my head to him.

"Oh, there she is!!" Papa pointed her out.

She is coming with a girl. "Papa, is she Didi?"

"Surprise!" Papa said.

"What? You too knew she was coming and you didn't tell me?"

Then suddenly I got into a tight hug by my sister. My body relaxed. She literally smells the same as last time. Then she hugged Papa.

"Will anyone see me too?" I heard a small baby voice tucking my jeans. My nephew Vihaan! I picked him up and gave him numerous kisses followed by Papa.

"Come on, All love at the airport only? Save something for home then Papa!" I hear Dii say.

"Aww my small little buttercups!" she added going further to my babies. Held them and kissed them out of their lives! I hope they aren't complaining to me internally!

"Where is Vivek?" Papa asked about my brother in law as he is out of sight currently.

"Papa, he'll come in three days. His boss is not giving him leave now" Di replies.

Soon we got into car, and my sister got into driver's seat before me. So okay, she'll be driving. I sat on the passenger's seat with Vihaan on my laps.

"Mumma, where are we going now?" my nephew asked.

"To meet someone very special Vihaan" she winked.

"My God, what are you teaching to my grandson? Stop doing that thing with your eye, good people don't do that" Maa begain scolding her. I guess this is what home feels like. Mom showing her care.

"Oops! Sorry Maa" Dii said. I can clearly study her face by now. She wasn't sorry at all, all she said was to avoid further bickering on the same topic.

"Where are we going Di?"

"To see mother for your kids' Aarush" she said as casually as she expected me to digest this thing. Making a small pout, giving anything but 'innocence' look on that face.

"WHAT?"