Aarush

Great. Just Great. My family, without informing me, is taking me to see my future bride. What can be better than this ? Just Great.

Knowing the fact I won't remarry, they are just rubbing their decisions on me. Infact Di too ! Shayad aayi hi iss kaam ke liye thi US se !

(Maybe for this work only she she stepped out of US)

My Oh-not-so-good sister parked the car and everyone got down except me. Papa has been holding Priyansh, Maa was handling Pihu. Vihaan was holding Dii's index finger as he got down. Only the grumpy me was sitting inside the car.

And why won't I sit ? I will sit.

Dii knocked on my side of the window and commanded "Get down now" to which I ignored making a poker face. She opened my side of door and asked me the same again. I continued my same state.

I felt a soft hand on my shoulder which indeed was convincing me the same. "You will be the one, who will declare the final decision. And whatever your decision is I'll support you. Even if you say 'No'. But for now can you please come ?" she requested.

Disheartened, I got out of the car and saw mom had already rang the bell. Isn't she highly eager to find a bride for me ? I walked to the door ignoring my sister.

The door opened, and a woman possibly near the age of my mother stood in front of us. "Mr and Mrs. Nair ? If I'm not wrong" she confirmed.

"Yes, Mrs. Parekh" my mother smiled.

"Welcome" she invited moving aside, giving us the passage to the living room. Their house is neither too big nor too small. But the space is beautifully utilised. Everything is placed perfectly, keeping cleanliness at its priority.

We all sat on the sofa of their drawing room, while Vihaan was sitting on Dii's laps and jumped to shift on mine. Giving us a toothy smile when my not-so-sweet sister glared at him to behave.

We are really here for my marriage alliance ? Like seriously ! I am hating this already. All of this. Really. What kind of situation I'm strucked into ! I don't want to do anything. My brain is just saying one thing - Take your twins and run off.

I sighed. I wish I could.

Mr. Parekh sat in front of us, calling his wife. Soon Mrs. Parekh came and sat next to him. Woah. Everything looks planned.

Soon the greetings were exchanged, and a girl maybe in her twenties appeared to us. She was wearing a red plain anarkali suit, and had left her hair open. She emerged out of the kitchen holding the tray of teacups. Every typical Indian Arrange Marriage story ! Serving us snacks and tea, she stood beside her father.

"So Aarush, what do you do for a living ?" Mr. Parekh initiated.

Forming a small fake smile to look decent enough, I answered "Sir, I am Manager at Social Apex" to which he nodded.

The same question was asked by my mother to them. "Aunty, I manage sales department of our office" to which she replied.

"Beta, Vaani have a seat" her mother suggested her.

By this, I got to know her name is Vaani. God ! How long is it going to take ? Can't my kids cry ? They're utterly silent today, or else they cry so loud at home, it takes fifteen minutes to pacify them. Seems that today luck is not by my side.

Our parents were so much engulfed in conversation, they probably forgot why we are here. My sister cleared her throat, to which my mother said, "Let the children have a word in private" and to which I gave a death glare to my sister. Why the hell is she making it difficult for me !!!

Nodding to which, Vaani got up and took me to her room. This is the moment of truth Aarush ! Get rid of her ! Tell her everything truthfully, and say you won't marry her.

"Please make yourself comfortable" a heard a soft voice asking me to sit. I nodded and sat on the bed.
Crap ! This awkward silence is killing me.

"So, you are Aarush ?" she initiated, maybe to erase the awkwardness among us.

"Yes, Aarush Nair" I offered her a handshake.

"Yuvaani Parekh" she introduced her taking my hand.

"So, let's get straight to the point.. I guess" I tried to maintain the conversation, to which her body stiffed.

"Sure" she said with a small smile.

"I guess you know I- I am a widower. I have two kids and they are so small. And I love my wife."

"I mean late wife" I added stating the fact with a heavy heart and I felt my voice a bit weak at the end.

"Yes, I know. My parents told me."

"Isn't this enough reason to deny me ?"

She smiled and said "Maybe, Maybe not"

I furrowed my brows saying "You want to marry me ?"

"The decision is not under my consideration Aarush. I had already rejected seven suitors for me. And my father took these matters under his control now. Even if I don't want to, I have to. I can't go against my parents they're quite strict." she explained.

"Ms. Yuvaani, please try to understand. I am in no position to get married. As I said, I love my wife even today, when she's not with me. If by any chance we get married y-you can't get what you actually deserve. The rights of being my wife." I tried to make her understand calmly.

"But you mother told my parents that you wife wanted you to remarry" She asked being confused.

What ! My mother is telling all this to strangers. Wow. Just wow.

"But I'm not ready" I stated hiding the exclaiming news of my oh-so-sweet mother.

Silence filled the thick gap between us, awkwardly. She seemed to be a little lost by now. I really don't understand what to do now, did my words hurt her ? They shouldn't be.. but what if they had ?

"I'm sorry Ms. Yuvaani, I didn't meant to be harsh. I'm sorry it you felt like I'm not polite."

"It isn't the thing. I guess then, Aarush you should yourself deny to this marriage. Because I really can't. My father is strict. He approved my decision seven times when I said 'No' to those men. It's in my father's hands and yours."

Somehow I felt bad and sorry for her. That she can't take her decisions on her own. Her father is taking such life changing decision under his wraps. It's her life, her decisions, Right ?

"Your kids are cute" she said.

"Thank you" I gave a small smile.

"What are their names ?"

"Priyansh and Pihu"

"Such cute names !"

I smiled. We felt knock on the door. The door wasn't locked either, it was just shut. Yuvaani went and opened the door. Vihaan came running and sat on my laps. My saviour baccha !

"Mamu, aapko bula rahe hai"

(Uncle, you've been called)

"Okay champ, let's go" I picked him up in my arms and walked towards the drawing room.

Soon we entered the drawing room. And all the formalities took place. It was hell exhausting and after good twenty minutes we were back in the car after bidding them goodbye.

"The girl seems nice" Maa initiated.
Please not this. I was irritated by now, I don't want to get frustrated.

"Yes, yes !! Why not ! She's my friend's cousin. I know her. And my choices are the best !!" Dii boasted.

Oh so she's the one who's causing all this. I see.

"Will you people just- Leave it." I got annoyed.

Realising the anger in my voice, everyone kept mum. As soon as we reached home, I fed my babies and got them to sleep. Today was too much to go against my will. I need some fresh air.

Grabbing my bike keys I went to my appartment. Mine and Priya's appartment. We never told about this to anyone, not even our families. It was our joint dream to build our own home and be there.

She never wanted me to leave my family so, we just lived with my parents and builded our dream here. Soon I reached and opened the lock.

Everything is kept as it was. It was her idea of decorating as she wanted, and I wanted to be it forever like this, as she wanted. I went to the balcony of our master bedroom and placed a bin bag there.

Staring at the nature, brings a kind of relief. Silence brings satisfaction to me now. I wasn't like this. I always loved to talk to my loved ones. But now, I don't want to share any of my feelings with them.

Because I know, they will pretend to be concerning. They really aren't concerned. Priya asked me to remarry after she'll be gone. Maybe to get me out of how miserable I am now. I don't want to live without her. The only thing that keeps me sane are our kids.

Do you really want me to get married, Priya ? Can you really bear the fact that I'm with some other woman ? Won't you feel pain that some other girl is living with me ?

Oh I remembered something ! I got up and walked to the drawer, searching for a thing which she usually kept here. "There it is !" I came back to my bin bag and started reading it.

I open a few last pages of her diary. Because those have been written for me. The handwriting was little distorted as if a kid had written it. My wife had written some pages for me in her last few days. She told me about this the very day she was going to leave me.

March 01.

It pains. Not by knowing the fact that I'm going to die in few days, but by learning the fact that I have to leave you. Our kids. Our family. Everything. This pain is nothing to me as compared to the pain of a single mere thought that I have to leave you.

Okay, so facing the reality that I will be dying in a few days; I please request you from the bottom of my heart to not spoil your future life because of me, to find a good girl and get married. Find a good mother for our children, who will take care of them, love them, who will look after you. But I don't think so she will love you more than I do hahaha !

The first may be difficult but you have to take it for our kids. Don't dwell in pain. Please don't shut people from reaching you. Don't invite miseries to your life Aarush.

You don't deserve to be sad. Please live like the Aarush I want to see. The man who is full of life.

You are the best husband. A person who taught me how to accept the worst things coming our ways, how to be patient, how to be happy, how to look after others. And most importantly, how to Love.

I don't want the man who I love to be all grumpy ! Be the same man I fell in love with. I'll always be with you. You'll never be alone.

Yours,
Always and Forever.
Pri.

I was in tears by now. I don't want her to go ! I hugged my knees and sobbed a little and stayed there for a few hours.

I heard my phone rings. Dii calling.

"Hello Aaru where are you ? Come back home for dinner"

"Hmm" I said and ended the call.

I took the diary with me and locked the door and drove back home. We had dinner and I was going to my room.

"Beta, We want to talk to you" Papa said. I sat next to him waiting for him to continue.

"Um.. Mr. Parekh had called" Maa added.

"And..?" I asked, expecting a negative response from the other side.

"They said Yes"