Aarush

I silently made my way to my room learning the fact that the Parekh family has said Yes. I felt my heart clench, with accelerated heartbeats. Because this isn't the thing I want. I'm feeling trapped in a situation. Why would she say yes, when I asked her to say no ? Oh yeah ! Her father might have taken the decision on her behalf. I felt as God isn't showing any mercy on me. Like, things are slipping out of my hand.

I went to my kids' cot and looked at them. Priyansh was asleep and my baby girl was staring her surroundings. I picked her up in my arms and got settled on bed. She smiled and continued making her soft baby voices.

"Do you think your papa is doing right ? By not marrying any girl ?"

"Aapko aisa toh nahi lagta ki papa selfish hoke aapko mumma ka pyaar nahi dila rahe hai ?"

[ Do you feel that I'm depriving you of mother's love ?]

"But mai aapki mumma se bohot pyaar karta hu"

[But I love your mother a lot]

"Agar kisi aur se shadi karunga toh mai cheater lagunga na ? Aisa nahi lagega ki mai aapki mumma se pyaar hi nahi karta tha ? Ye baat koi nahi samajta ! Abhi sab bol rahe hai shadi karlo shadi karlo, fir shadi ho jayegi toh bolenge ki ye apni biwi se pyaar hi nhi karta tha issi liye itne jaldhi dusri shadi karli !"

[And if I'll marry someone else so I'll be tagged as a cheater no ? It would seem like I never loved your mother ? No one considers this thing ! Everyone are just like marry marry marry ! And if I remarried, then they'll say I never loved my wife, that's why I remarried.]

I went to balcony with her in my arms. "Wo dekho, jo sabse bright chamak rahe hai na wo star aapki mumma hai ! Mumma is always with you, with us" I pointed towards the brightest shining star.

[ See that, the brightest star is your mother ! ]

She looked in the direction of my hands and made a loud baby giggle. That's my girl ! She understands everything, even though she won't. Then she started eating my cheeks making me giggle ! She can make out the best of my worst days.

Later, she kept her small head on my shoulders while I patted her back while walking around in the balcony itself. And she was asleep. I placed her in her cot and was turning back as I saw my sister. I ignored her and went to balcony.

"Well, sorry if you're hurt." She came behind me and said.

"Next time when you say these words, make sure you mean it" I replied. But my tone came much harsh than I thought.

"I wanted to talk to you about.. like everything- that is going in your life"

"Why ? To make more mess of it ?" I asked her sarcastically.

"Aarush, I am not your enemy ! I am your sister. Your family. I don't want anything bad for you. I'm your well wisher"

"Yeah, yeah ! well wisher right?"

"Can you just stop with that tone, please ?"

I didn't say anything even I don't want even talk to her. She's the reason that the Yuvaani thing happened.

"I know you're concerned about your kids. But trust me she's not bad. She's good at heart. She can never harm our muchkins"

"Like you know quite much about her. I see" I taunted.

"Aarush, to be honest, you don't want to marry someone. And that's your side of truth. But for once you thought what will your kids go through once they grow up ? Jab wo apni maa ke liye royenge, tab koi nahi hoga unke paas. Tab wo tumhare paas nahi aayenge rote rote. Ye baat tum bhi jaante ho. When we were kids, we too shared most of the things with our Maa, not Papa !"

[When they'll cry for their mother, they'll left with no one by their side. Theyllynot come to you crying. You too know this.]

"I'll be both the parents to them." I said absent mindedly.

She placed her palm on my arm and caressed it lightly. "Think about it, Aarush. What if we didn't had our mother during our childhood ?"

I was astonished by what she had said. No, but really ! What if I didn't have a mother when I had turned one ? Still I had support of my sister. She's elder to me. But my kids are twins. They don't.

Every passing moment, my heart yearned for Priya. If she was here, the situation like this wouldn't have even touched me. She was the best ! Best daughter, best wife, best daughter in law, and best mother !

She was in immense pain still she took care of our kids. Her hands shivered, still she would hold them. Breastfeed them. Even I can imagine, but I am not even near her pain ! My heart clenched everytime when she reminded me that she's going to die.

"Hello ? Where are you lost brother ?" I came out of my trance when Dii snapped her fingers.

"Nothing"

"We can fulfill her last wish Aarush. She wanted her kids to have a loving mother, just like her."

"I-" my words died in my mouth. I couldn't speak. It felt like I've a lump in my throat.

"She really wanted her kids to have a mother. It's not about your wife, it's about their mother." She looked at my kids as she said the last sentence.

She's not wrong either. It's about my kids. I can't deny the fact that they need a mother. They really do. But somewhere in my heart, I'm not r-ready !

"I-I know" I uttered with great difficulty. I don't know why this sudden lump had got in my throat !

"Please don't deprive them of mother's love Aarush. Wo bohot chhote hai. Abhi unhe kuch nahi samajta hai, toh we can easily take these decisions. Jab bacche bade ho jayenge tab ye sab karna kaafi mushkil ho jayega."

[They're too small. They don't understand anything now, so we can take decisions easily. But when they grow up, it will be more difficult.]

"What do you think ? I'm intentionally depriving them ?"

"I'm not saying that ! But-" A line tear slipped from her left eye which she wiped immediately.

Thick silence filled between us. My babies are so innocent. They definitely don't deserve this. What's even their age ? 11 months !

"Please fulfill her last wish Aarush, otherwise I'll not be able to forgive myself !" She sobbed.

I frowned. "Why are you saying this ? Is there something I need to know ?" I asked curiously. Is there something I didn't know about Priya ? My heart beated faster learning this is something related to her.

"Dii please tell me ! What is that thing about Priya ?" I can't hold longer. My heart is shifting ten folds, as in crushing and pumping ! I need to know !

"A promise !" She cried.

"Promise ?" I asked but my voice turned out to be little cracked !

She nodded. "Two days before she died. I was with her alone on her hospital bed. You went to sign the operation details. And Maa-Papa were at home taking care of our Pihu and Priyansh. I was with her. Then she took her oxygen mask off and asked me to promise her"

"What was the promise?"

"She wanted you to get married. She never wanted you to spoil your life behind her. She wanted you to see you happy. Our family happy. Your kids happy. She also said that you won't do that. Because she know your love for her."

"Then?"

"She made me promise her. That you'll remarry. She wrote something in her diary in front of me. But I didn't look at that. She told me that, if you didn't agree, so I have to give you that. But on her last day, she herself gave you that diary."

I guess I can't withstand this. In her final days too, she thought about her family. Her kids. Her husband. She was a pure soul. So selfless.

"She also said that-" she sobbed

"What she said?"

"If you didn't had twins she wouldn't had even told you to remarry. But she was much concerned about her babies."

I closed my eyes as they were clouded with tears.

"And as a mother, I agree with her. She thought about her kids more than she thought about you in her final moments. And you too know that. She wanted to give the best life. And she would, if she had time. For a mother nothing comes first than her kids."

I couldn't bear more. I hugged Dii tightly. She too hugged me back. I'm left with no words. And now, even words can't justify what I'm feeling right now. Whenever someone talks about her, and her final moments. All I can remember is her weakened body, which has grown so thin. Her eyes had gone hollow along with the cheeks. She used to wear a cap as she had excess hair loss. Still she would maintain a smile whenever a visitor visited her.

I went in and covered myself in blanket. I heard the door being closed, indicating Dii must've gone. I kept thinking for few hours before taking a strong decision.

Sleep was miles away from me so I decided to work. I completed all the files that are necessary for today's presentation and sent it to my boss' PA. Soon the Sun emerged within an hour or so. I had texted my boss' PA that I won't be coming today.

I also texted my friends for an urgent meet up. The boys have been with me through thick and thin since our college days. Aur bond is that strong that we couldn't give our life for each other !

I opened WhatsApp and clicked on the group named Brothers - FAM. Here FAM stands for 'From Another Mother' and texted them "Boys, we need to meet urgently. Meet me at 10 am at our usual spot"

Instantly Yuvraj replied "keep it 12 ! There aren't any flights !"

"Okay ! Let's meet at 12" I replied him.

Later Atharv and Kunal too replied by thumbs up. I smiled looking at my phone screen. Yuvraj is in Delhi currently so he needed time.

Till the time clock strickes 12, I got ready and took my kids to the part early morning to get them fresh air. They would walk a few minutes and then sit miseraby on grass, still laughing ! While Pihu was crawling around, Priyansh was plucking the grass ! Later, Pihu joined too ! If I let them continue, the whole garden would be bald by now !

Later, at the park few grandpas were having a good session of laughing exercises arranged in a circle. My babies ran to them. I wonder what they'll do now ! The grandpas were in a stand at ease position. So my kids were running in between their legs, as if the grandpas are tunnel. Lol !

I caught them both and kept in my arms. And apologized to those uncles. They bid it by saying there isn't an issue and told me my kids are cute. Then we had some slide rides. And finally I brought these little devils at home and gave them a bath followed by their breakfast. Vihaan was still sleeping by now, he missed all the fun !

And it was 11 ! I took my car and drove to my friends. I'm excited to meet them after months ! Those three are the best people for me. They would give me the most practical piece of advice.

Soon time passed and I met Yuvraj, Atharv and Kunal. We four hugged each other and had a group hug.

"So ? What is this 'urgent meeting' for ?" Kunal asked.

"Boys, there is a serious situation I'm strucked into. And I need your help. All of you"

"Is everything alright ?" It was Yuvi.

"Guys, Priya had a last wish of .. you know.." The lump in my throat appeared again.

"She said what ?" Atharv asked

"She wants me to remarry, so that our kids could have a mother." I completed in a go.

"So.. ?" Kunal asked

"So what ? You know I still love her. And I c-can't do that" I replied.

"You won't. But what about bhabhi's last wish then ?" Yuvi asked.

"Last wish you be a wish only, simple" Atharv said and I glared at him.

"This. Isn't. A. Joke." I replied him making a strong eye contact with an intimidation.

"Okay okay sorry, just lighten up ! I want to erase the tensed you !" Atharv replied.

"So.. you want to remarry ?" Kunal asked.

"My family even took me to meet a girl for marriage. And they already said Yes. Things are getting complicated." I told them truthfully.

"It all indicates one thing only." Yuvraj replied.

"Which is ?" Atharv asked

"Get married" Kunal said.

"It isn't that easy guys ! You know it too."

"Aarush, you can't sit like this by just doing nothing. If it's her last wish you should fulfill. If you believe she shouldn't haunt you so !" Yuvi said

"Haa bhai bhoot sachme scary hote hai !" Atharv said.

[Bro ghosts are really scary]

"Atharav yr ! Shut up ! Guys please focus on the topic, I've to be in a meeting within two hours. So please, sort this out !" Kunal insisted.

I bowed my head down, I thought they'll understand the situation but they aren't. I got up and walked a few steps away from them.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned back it was Kunal. "Aarush, I'm a parent too. I can understand why bhabhi said that. I think you should- you know. You'll have a support too." Kunal approached me.

Yuvraj has known me for most years now. He has quite an update what my life is like. And him being a lawyer can judge it accurately, I feel so. And he stood there all quite.

Atharv has been in deep thoughts as far as I can see him. Maybe thinking about what I told him.

"You should go for it. For your children." Yuvi said making me a bit shocked. I was expecting a negative response from him. But he emphasised more on his last statement.

"Guys, but he loves Priya !" Atharav stated.

"It isn't about love Atharv. It's about kids. His kids are nearly a year old. Won't they need a mother ?" Yuvraj asked him.

"But-" he tried to make his view on the topic but Yuvraj intruppted him

"When you'll have kids, then you'll understand." Raj said. And he walked to me and placed his hand on my shoulder and patted it lightly.

"You should try this." He said. I nodded. I am still not believing he is Yuvraj. He hugged me and said "Sorry, but I really think you should move on." He said and got away. His phone rang. He replied and told us that he'll have to leave, he has a case to look after. Then he bid a bye.

He thinks that I haven't moved on by now ? Wow. Later Kunal too moved out. Atharv thought that a second marriage would be risky. So he asked me to think a million times before taking the step. And he left too.

I went to our apartment and spent a few hours there and went back home to the evening. When returned home and Papa called me in his room.

"So what have you thought ?" He asked.

"I need time-" I replied and moved out of the room. I can't bear this thoughts anymore. I went into my room and Vihaan was playing with the twins.

I saw the innocence on my kids' face. I can't hurt them. I don't want them to face anything in future. Thinking deep about it one last time I called at Yuvaani's home. Her mother gave me her number and I texted her.

I had my dinner and went to sleep. Next morning when I got up, I checked my phone. No response from her. After some fifty minutes, a notification came. It was her.

She : Hey !
Yes, we can talk.

Actually, I wanted to ask who said yes ? you or your Dad ?

She : My dad.

Okay.

She : Is that it ?

Actually No. I want to talk about something else too.

She : And.. what is it ?

I'm ready to marry you.